OK, so I\’m over 40. Let\’s tackle these questions.

If a birthday cake shaped like a bicycle wheel is what you want — why not? Celebrate the kid in you!

A bicycle more expensive than a car? If that\’s what you want to do with your money, it\’s YOUR money. Why do they care how much your bicycle cost, anyway?

You don\’t HAVE to stare at the rear of the cyclist right in front of you. In fact, all I\’ve read about drafting warns against staring at the wheel/rider right in front of you!

So you think that\’s a spare tire under my jersey? Spare me the comments about my weight!

What makes anybody think that my bicycle cost five thousand? And if I rode only once a month I would never have bought a road bike. I\’d have stuck with the hybrid for all riding.

Your \”other\” doesn\’t want to take a cycling trip around the world? Maybe you can persuade him/her to join you. Or maybe go solo.

A burger? Well, maybe. But I\’ll skip the pint. Why do you think I\’m not \”normal\” because I don\’t like beer? Besides, I need to ride sober.

How much do the owners of those bargain-basement bikes ride? How long will those cheap bicycles last? I\’d probably wear one out in six months.

I KNOW that every rider goes down sooner or later. And you don\’t fall OFF a bike; you fall WITH it. Especially when you ride clip-ins.

Why would anyone think I spent that much on a jersey?

And what\’s with the notion that muesli, Clif Bars, etc. taste like sawdust? Even if they did, we\’ve gotta keep fueled.

Hey, I DO wash my cycling shorts after each use. If I want to wear a jersey for several rides before laundering it, so what?

No, I DON\’T shave my legs every day, and what of it?

We Over 40 folks need some sharp answers. And what other snappy comebacks can you think of?